What to do if you feel stuck in life—especially after a toxic relationship or workplace

Have you ever felt like you’re just standing still while life moves on without you? 

Perhaps you know you’re not happy where you are in life right now, whether it’s your relationships, career, or environment, but you have no idea how to move forward. 

This feeling of being “stuck” is especially common if you’re in a toxic relationship or workplace (or have recently left one). You’ve spent so much time in survival mode, walking on eggshells and second-guessing yourself, that it becomes your new normal and it can be hard to know what to do next. 

There are so many options it can be overwhelming, and it keeps you in inaction. 

But here’s the truth: feeling stuck is temporary, and you don’t need to stay there. 

In this blog, I’ll break down the key reasons why people feel stuck, what’s keeping you there, and how to start moving forward so you can finally start thriving! 

Why am I feeling so stuck in life?

There are lots of different factors that can cause us to feel stuck in life. 

We may be in a job we hate, a relationship that isn’t good for us, or perhaps we’ve created a life we thought we wanted, but now we don’t want it anymore. 

If you’ve been in a toxic environment or relationship for too long—whether it’s a controlling relationship, an unhealthy workplace, or even a manipulative friendship—your brain adapts to cope. 

Here are a few reasons why you might feel stuck:

• You’re still healing from emotional damage: Toxic relationships and environments chip away at your self-worth, making it hard to trust yourself again.

• Loss of identity: You’ve spent so long catering to someone else’s needs that you’re not sure who you are anymore or what you want. 

• Overwhelm from too many choices: You may have freedom—but that can feel paralysing when you don’t know where to start.

• Fear of making the wrong move: If you’ve experienced manipulation or gaslighting, you doubt your own judgment and hesitate to take action. 

• Rose tinted glasses: You may miss parts of your ‘old life’, and romantacise the good times, making you question whether you made the right decision. 

• Your nervous system is still in survival mode: Your body and mind are conditioned to expect chaos, so calm can feel uncomfortable (for now). 

I’d like you to think about whether any of these reasons resonated with you. 

Recognising these patterns is the first step to breaking free from them after you’ve had a significant life event, such as burnout from a job or leaving a crappy relationship. 

The first 3 steps to getting unstuck

If you’ve been feeling like you’re spinning your wheels in life and don’t know what to do next, here’s what you can do: 

1. Remind yourself that feeling stuck is temporary

It might feel like you’ll never get out of this state, but know that this is just one chapter of your story and this too shall pass. 

Think of this period of feeling stuck as part of your journey and part of the healing and growth process—rather than seeing it as a negative reflection of your worth or ability to rebuild your life. 

Instead of saying, “I’m stuck,” try reframing it as, “I’m in transition.” Because that’s what this is. 

It’s a pivotal time that will help to set the direction you take. Sometimes we need to be in the pit of despair before we’re ready and motivated to act. 

Once you make a decision and start taking action you will no longer be stuck, so think of this as a period of clarity and planning, rather than perpetual ‘stuckness’. 

2. Get to the root cause of the ‘stuckness’ 

There will likely be a few different factors at play for your feeling of ‘stuckness’. It’s important to get to the cause, as this will give you clarity on what to focus on, and your next most important steps. 

Journaling is a great tool for this. Ask yourself the following questions, writing down everything that comes to your mind—not judging what comes up, just getting it down on paper. 

Journaling prompts for getting unstuck:

1. What do I believe is causing me to feel stuck right now?

2. Am I afraid of making the wrong decision?

3. Do I feel unworthy of something better?

4. What do I believe is keeping me in a state of confusion?

5. Am I waiting for external validation or permission? If so, for what and from whom?

6. What’s one thing I’m avoiding because it feels too big or overwhelming?

7. What do I believe is preventing me from being able to make a decision? 

8. What barriers do I need to remove before I can move forward?

Naming the real obstacles will help you to create a list of priorities and actions to move past them. See if you can identify and group any trends from your answers. This will enable you to see if there are some key themes and things to work on that can help you get unstuck. 

3. Make a plan but don’t over-plan: Take small steps forward and let things unfold

As humans, we want to have certainty when making decisions. But the truth is that we never really have 100% certainty for anything in life. We don’t always get things right the first time, but we learn and we pivot. 

Change doesn’t magically show up. It follows action. Even if you don’t feel ready, commit to taking one small step toward something new. 

If it’s not the right direction, you’ll know. Then you can pivot. 

Too many of us stay stuck because we’re not able to make a decision. We worry we’ll make the wrong one, or we’re overwhelmed by the options. 

Listen to your intuition, pick a direction and start walking. You may take some wrong turns on the way, but you’ll get to your destination eventually. 

If you sit down and stay where you are, you’re never going to get anywhere. So just start moving! 

What’s one small thing you can do today that will help you take one small step in a direction?

• Want to change careers? Update your resume or reach out to someone in a field that interests you.

• Want to feel more confident? Say one kind thing to yourself today instead of criticism.

• Want to meet new people? Join a class, a book club, or an online group where you can connect without pressure.
  

Small actions build momentum, and momentum leads to real change.

Practical strategies to move forward

If you’re ready to get unstuck, here are some things you can start doing today:

1. Change your environment and routine

Your surroundings affect your mindset. If you’ve been stuck in the same routines, switch it up:

• Work from a new cafe instead of your usual spot.

• Have a clear out and rearrange your space to feel fresh and different.

• Take a different class at the gym or try a new hobby. 

• Travel to a new place, even if it’s just a different part of your city.

• Go for a walk in nature instead of watching Netflix after work. 

2. Set one small goal this week

Overthinking can keep you stuck, so instead of trying to “fix everything” at once, focus on one small thing you can do this week. Maybe it’s scheduling therapy, reaching out to a friend, or committing to a daily walk. 

Small steps lead to bigger shifts and they build momentum. Sometimes we need to learn to walk again before we can run, so focus on one next step. 

3. Reconnect with yourself and your values

Toxic relationships make you lose sight of who you are. Ask yourself:

• What did I enjoy before that relationship/job/friendship?

• What makes me feel happy? 

• What’s most important to me in life?

Then, start reintroducing yourself to the things that make you feel alive again.

4. Wrap yourself in support 

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Find a support system—whether that’s a coach, therapist, or a supportive online Meetup group like the She Thrives Women’s Mastermind—where you can feel understood and encouraged. 

Doing hard things alone can make them harder. Reach out to people you trust and talk things out. Having an empathetic ear can make all the difference, as this is not a time to isolate yourself. 

5. Stop listening to the negative voice in your head

That voice telling you, “You’re not good enough” or “You’ll never change”? It’s lying. Toxic relationships plant those thoughts in your mind, but they’re not your truth. Every time you catch yourself in self-doubt, challenge it:

• Would I talk to a friend this way?

• What if I assumed the best about myself instead of the worst?

• What would my most confident self do?

Changing your self-talk takes time, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do to shift your mindset.

You’re not stuck—you’re rebuilding and reinventing

Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re in a transition period between who you were and who you’re becoming. And that’s a good thing.

You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. You just have to take the next step—whatever that looks like for you.

So, what’s one small thing you can do today to start moving forward? Let me know in the comments or send me a message—I’d love to hear from you! 💛

If this blog resonated with you, be sure to check out the Finally Thriving Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts for more conversations on healing, growth, and reclaiming your confidence.🎙️✨

If you’re ready to rebuild your self-worth and confidence, book a free consult with me – I’m a certified life coach, hypnotherapist and accredited cognitive behavioural therapy practitioner who specialises in helping women rebuild their confidence and self-worth after toxic relationships. 

Thanks for reading! If you want more, check out my other blogs, follow me on TikTok: @janelle.keesue and Instagram: @janellekeesue.coaching