Are you an overthinker? If your brain is always on the go, you second guess your decisions and doubt yourself, fixate on things outside your control, and worry about things that haven’t happened yet, causing you to feel anxious and overwhelmed, you may be an overthinker.
But don’t worry, there are great tools you can use to overcome overthinking and stop the thoughts before they snowball! Keep reading to learn more about the causes and effects of overthinking, and practical strategies to stop.
What is overthinking?
Overthinking is when you dwell on the same thought or problem repeatedly without making progress. Oftentimes, it involves worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, and aren’t likely to happen. Or we agonise over making decisions, going around and around in circles and not being able to commit to a decision.
Overthinking often manifests as worrying about the future, replaying past events, or second-guessing ourselves and our decisions. It can result in self-doubt, indecision, and feeling stuck.
This habit can lead to mental exhaustion, anxiety, frustration, and even depression.
Signs you’re an overthinker
Signs of overthinking include:
Imagining worst-case scenarios
Second-guessing yourself
Being a perfectionist
Having analysis paralysis when making decisions
Feeling mentally exhausted
Catastrophising things in your mind
Asking yourself 'what if' questions in a negative way
Repetitive thoughts that won’t go away
Feeling anxious about the past or future
Constant seeking of reassurance or validation
Finding difficulty concentrating because you’re in your own head
Constantly reliving your mistakes or traumatic experiences
Difficulty making decisions and backing yourself
Feeling paranoid
What causes overthinking?
While there are many causes of overthinking, here are a few common ones:
Perfectionism
The desire to achieve perfection can lead to constant self-criticism and fear of making mistakes. If you’re a perfectionist, there’s a good chance you’re very self critical and overthink your decisions and actions.
Fear of failure
If we believe failure is bad and we should avoid it at all costs, that will make us become very risk averse, second guess decisions where we don’t have 100% certainty, and beat ourselves up if we fail.
Lack of confidence
If you don’t feel confident in a particular area, it’s likely you’re going to overthink whether or not you can do something. Low confidence and self-esteem can make people doubt their abilities and decisions, causing them to overanalyse.
Fear of the unknown
We as human beings love certainty, however unfortunately we live in a world that hardly ever offers it! Uncertainty about the future can trigger overthinking as a way to try to anticipate and control potential outcomes.
Stress and anxiety
High levels of stress and anxiety can fuel a cycle of overthinking, creating a loop that's hard to break. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious, there’s a high chance you’ve got a lot of thoughts racing through your mind at any one time, causing you to overthink things.
Past trauma
Negative experiences and unresolved trauma can cause people to dwell on past events and their potential impact on the present and future. If something bad has happened to us in the past, we often carry this with us into the future, affecting our decision making and causing us to overthink.
You’re genes
You may naturally be a deep thinker and focused inwards, which is a common trait for introverts. By being a deep thinker and analytical, you may be more prone to overthinking.
What are the effects of overthinking?
Overthinking can have significant consequences on various aspects of life, but here are some of the most common ones:
Mental health and mood
Chronic overthinking is associated with increased levels of anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems. If you’re constantly feeling worried or anxious as a result of overthinking, it can lead us to feeling mentally exhausted and drained, feeling like we’re in flight or fight mode all of the time. This makes it hard to relax and to feel good.
Physical health
The stress caused by overthinking can lead to it manifesting as physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and insomnia/trouble sleeping.
Decision-making
Overthinking can result in analysis paralysis, making it difficult to make decisions and take action because we struggle to commit to a decision and back ourselves, constantly thinking ‘what if’ and second guessing our decisions.
Relationships
Constantly second-guessing yourself and others can strain relationships and create misunderstandings, not to mention as it can affect mental health and mood, this affects the people around you, too.
Productivity
The time and energy spent overthinking and stuck in inaction often results in lower productivity and can hinder your personal development and growth.
How do I stop overthinking?
Now that we’ve covered what overthinking is, how it shows up, and what it costs us, let’s look at what we can do to stop it! Because that’s why you’re here, right?
Awareness
Everything starts with awareness. Start becoming very mindful of what’s happening in your head on a daily basis, and pay attention to the thoughts you’re having.
I recommend writing down your thoughts when you’re finding yourself in a state of overthinking - once they’re down on paper, you can look at them more objectively rather than let them snowball. This is the first step to overcoming overthinking.
Mindfulness
Practising mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and grounding exercises can help you to stay present in the moment and reset when you’re overthinking. Often we forget to breathe and calm our nervous system.
Taking a minute to do deep breathing and focus on your breath and nothing else, will help to keep you grounded and pause the overthinking. To do this, breathe in for 8 counts, pause for 4 counts, then breathe out for 10 counts.
Challenge your thoughts
Question the validity of your thoughts. Are they based on facts or assumptions? Our brain loves to fill in the gaps when it doesn’t have all the facts - it’s something it does very naturally to be helpful, but more often than not it’s making stuff up, and usually the stuff it makes up is negative/is jumping to the worst case scenario.
This is out of self-preservation (to keep us safe), but oftentimes it causes us great stress and anxiety for no good reason. So, question your thoughts and their validity first.
Is that really true? And how do I know that’s true? Would the evidence I have stack up in the court of law or are some assumptions being made? These are the questions you should be asking yourself to prevent overthinking.
Choose your thoughts carefully
Most of us accept whatever thought pops into our mind. But this is what’s causing us to overthink and to feel anxious. Your thoughts directly impact how you feel in the moment, which determines how you act, and your results. So by getting your thoughts in order, you will change how you feel, and your outcomes.
Did you know that you get to choose the thoughts you entertain in your mind? Just like choosing the clothes you put on everyday, you also get to choose the content of your mind and what you let stay and what you let go of.
Choose to think more positive (or neutral) thoughts on a daily basis, replace negative or irrational thoughts with positive and realistic ones, and focus on the outcomes you want, rather than those you don’t want, and this will alleviate the anxiety from thinking about all the ways in which things could go wrong.
Allocate time for overthinking/worrying
If you want to overthink, time-box it and add it to your calendar. Allocate a specific amount of time for reflection or problem-solving, then move on to other activities. During your overthinking time, writing down everything that’s on your mind. Getting it down on paper will enable you to think more logically, making it easier to question your thoughts.
Reserving things for your worrying time will acknowledge that you will spend time on it, just not right now.
Get fresh air and exercise
If we’re finding ourselves in an overthinking loop, break the state by having a break and doing something that helps energise you. Exercise, for example, will release endorphins and reduce stress. Activities like yoga, running, or even a walk in nature can help clear your mind.
Limit your exposure to stuff that triggers overthinking
Look at what tends to cause your overthinking, and consider if there’s anything you can do to reduce your exposure to said triggers. For example, you could reduce exposure to sources of stress and negativity, such as social media and news. Perhaps it’s certain people that trigger your overthinking and stress. If so, how can you limit your exposure and set robust boundaries?
Play the ‘what if’ game
Ask yourself ‘what if?’ This simple questioning practice challenges your brain to think outside its current thought loop, and open up to other possibilities.
What if I had an incredible day today?
What if my 1-on-1 with my manager went well?
What if I felt energised and good today?
What if I had an amazing time at this event and made new connections?
What if I am good enough just as I am?
What if I could do that?
What if I got that new job?
What if this turned out better than expected?
By asking ‘what if’ and keeping the possibilities open and positive, it taps into our brain’s in-built confirmation bias and shifts our mindset in that moment.
Important: Don’t be attached to the outcome because we don’t have control over it. What if is simply opening us up to the possibility that things can be different.
Play the ‘what if’ game daily, and see what an incredible difference it can make to your mindset, the way you feel, and your outcomes!
Rewire your own brain
While this may sound a bit scary, it’s actually a natural thing we do on a regular basis without knowing it. The neuroplasticity of our brains gives us the ability to learn new things, habits and behaviours, and break old ones with repetition and practice. This strategy can be applied to overthinking, too.
Overthinking is a habit you have. It’s not who you are. It’s something you’ve learnt and you can unlearn with practice and perseverance. To do this, practise all the tools mentioned above regularly, and you will begin to change your own brain.
If you want help with this, get in touch with me. I’m a life coach and hypnotherapist who specialises in helping people to change the way they think so they can have better lives. Book a free consult with me here and let’s chat.
Take imperfect action
If your overthinking is keeping you stuck in indecision, recommend taking imperfect action. Take the first step and see what happens. If it doesn’t get the result you want, at least you’ve taken action and started moving, and you can simply pivot.
Oftentimes we find ourselves stuck from overthinking, wondering what would happen if we did this or that, and if that happened, and the fact is that no one can tell what the future holds, so you just have to take action and see what happens! Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and start with the easiest one. Focus on progress rather than perfection, and celebrate small wins. This will build confidence, self-belief and momentum.
Get help and support
If you’re overthinking about something, speak to someone you trust. Having a sounding board can help you to get your thoughts in order, they can challenge your irrational ones, and help you see things differently, which will alleviate the overthinking state and give you clarity on where to go from here. Talk to friends, family, a coach or therapist about your thoughts and feelings. Or join a supportive group like the She Thrives Women’s Mastermind on Meetup!
Get hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is a highly effective tool for changing thought patterns and habits quickly. If you struggle with overthinking in general, it can help you to shift this pattern of thinking at an unconscious level, helping to facilitate change incredibly quickly. Completely safe, it feels like a lovely relaxing meditation, and uses creative visualisation to get the unconscious mind on-board with your goals and the outcomes you want to create.
I offer hypnotherapy services (both online and in person in Wellington, New Zealand) to help with self-image and confidence. Learn more about hypnotherapy and book a free consult with me to see if it’s the right fit for you.
I also create self-hypnosis meditations regularly, which you can purchase from my shop.
Overcoming overthinking is a journey
Overcoming overthinking is a journey that requires self-awareness, patience, and practice. By understanding the causes and effects of overthinking and implementing practical strategies, you can regain control of your thoughts and improve your overall well-being.
Remember, it's okay to seek help and take small steps towards a more balanced and peaceful mind!
If you need help on your journey, book a free consult with me – I’m a certified life coach, hypnotherapist and accredited cognitive behavioural therapy practitioner who specialises in helping ambitious peeps like you to reinvent themselves from the inside-out and achieve their biggest goals.
Thanks for reading! If you want more, check out my other blogs, follow me on TikTok: @janelle.keesue and Instagram: @janellekeesue.coaching
About the author, Janelle Kee-Sue
Janelle Kee-Sue is a Certified Life and Mindset Coach, accredited Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Practitioner, Self-Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner, and is completing a Diploma in Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapy and NLP with the New Zealand School of Professional Hypnotherapy. Based in Wellington, New Zealand, she specialises in helping people to change their thinking so they can change their lives; to reprogram their negative thought patterns, banish limiting beliefs for good, learn techniques for being less stressed and anxious, more emotionally regulated, positive and resilient, so they can achieve any goal, and lead happier, more fulfilling lives. In her spare time, you’ll find her at the gym, working on her novel, or hanging with her floofy Samoyed Zeus and her husband Ricky. Learn more about Janelle.
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