About Janelle Kee-Sue

As an introvert, I’ve always been reserved and a deep thinker. People would call me shy or quiet (I hated that, by the way), and it made me quite anxious and depressed because I’d constantly overthink things and jump to the worst case scenario, causing me a lot of unnecessary stress. 

 

I wished I was more extroverted because they seemed to get better opportunities in life and to exude confidence. For many of us, our idealised representation of confidence is extroversion. However, I’ve come to realise that’s totally untrue. 

 

Being introverted and “quiet” doesn’t mean you’re unconfident or less of a human being. But that’s how the many of us see it. That’s what I thought when I was growing up, anyway. I felt like an outsider; like I was invisible and there was something wrong with me because of my introversion. ​

 

I remember when I was seven years old at school and a teacher was throwing out lollies to a big group of kids in the recreation area. All the louder kids that commanded her attention through yelling out and waving got lollies, while the quiet kids that waited patiently and didn’t speak up didn’t. Including me. 

 

When I got home from school I cried my eyes out, because it felt so unfair. That was the first time I felt invisible. That was the first time I realised that the loud kids were more likely to get what they wanted, while the quiet kids were more likely to go home empty handed. 

 

Why did I have to be loud and the centre of attention to be seen and heard? I didn’t want that. I didn’t know how to do that. It felt so icky and unnatural, and affected my self-confidence and self worth. 

 

This carried into the workplace. I struggled to speak up for myself when my manager in my first job told me off for not getting my work done sooner, when her deadlines were completely unrealistic. 

 

I failed to back myself, believe in myself and set professional boundaries, which led me to being walked over, underpaid, overworked and getting burnt out. 

 

My dream job was to be a communications and marketing manager, but I didn’t think leadership was on the cards for me because I was an introvert with social anxiety and a fear of public speaking. 

 

Everyone I saw in leadership positions were extroverts. Successful people all seemed to be extroverts. People whose opinions were listened to the most seemed to be the people who were super comfortable speaking in front of a group and letting their opinions be known. I couldn’t do that. 

 

I was a deep thinker and intelligent, but I found it so hard to verbalise what I wanted to say in a way that made sense, or I’d miss the opportunity in the conversation because I was so stuck in my own head overthinking the opportunity passed me by. 

 

I struggled to back myself, overthought everything, and agonised over making decisions. I was ambitious and goal orientated—I was great at what I did and wanted to succeed, but I didn’t believe in myself and would always compare myself to my more outgoing colleagues, thinking I wasn’t good enough.

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I always thought being introverted was a negative thing that put me on the backfoot when it came to my career. But now I see it as one of my greatest strengths, because with some tweaking, I could be quietly powerful.